Memory Lane

Life is a long journey, an endless road that cannot be traveled backwards. Oftentimes, we carry old baggages  with us; one is filled with regrets, sadness, emptiness, failures and depressions and the other one is packed with happiness and fun, victories and celebrations. We complain about the heaviness we feel which keeps us weak and slow. Since we are reluctant to let go of everything, we become unaware that the luggage we put on our back is the cause of such inconvenience. Why don't we pause and drop off what's unnecessary? If we can't go on without something to carry as we feel hesitant leaving the bags behind, we can choose among the two. It ain't difficult to pick one: apparently, that one pack with beautiful keepsakes inside is a good choice. Forget the old luggage with unpleasant memories or remove everything from it and bring an empty pack along. 

Travel light, fast and far....if there are instances we do long or miss what we have let go, it's alright to look back and stare at the things held by our past. We can walk down memory lane sometimes and revisit what, who and where we've been but it's only the mind can travel opposite to the direction our feet is heading to. In reality, we can never turn around and take backward paces because time vehemently disallows. 

May You Get Well :)

           Joy streams from my heart's overflowing spring,

           As I travel far to see you again,

           So did I stop my month-long worrying,

           I see rays of hope come out beaming.

           My eyes search for you as I arrive,

           There I found you after a 2-hour ride,

           Tears of happiness I tried to hide,

           Flowed like river as I hugged you tight.

           May you get well the next time we meet,

           May your pale palm and cheeks turn into red,

           May you look better when I revisit,

           May the Lord raise you from your sickbed.

This poem is dedicated to my sick loved ones whom I visited recently:

My dear Uncle Benhur who's now recovering from illness

& Auntie Ana who is battling cancer (since Uncle Evan died of Cancer too). 

It is my prayer that God will show mercy and heal them with His Miraculous Touch. 

My Birthday Wish

I am sharing to you this birthday wish of mine. ♥ 

        The recently concluded year 2013 has been a blessed one for me (wherein I had celebrated my 33rd birthday 2 days before it ended). Although there were heart-rending situations that moved me to tears & crushed my heart, I still consider what happened as part of God's plans for all of us - there were no words such as complaints or objection but only "Thanksgiving" that came out of my mouth because amidst many troubles & heartaches, God has been there comforting & giving me strength to accept and comprehend His mighty will. I have been posting sorrowful expressions about my Uncle's death but one thing's for sure, my heart rejoices because I know he's now at rest, free from pain (colon cancer) and peacefully waiting for God's glorious reward someday.

       I praise God for everything! My loving husband, Jay and sweet son, Carl inspire me to live happily despite all the pains, failures and losses. The Lord is the fountainhead of my strength and hope; my family is the wellspring of my happiness. I have loved ones, relatives and friends who make my life more meaningful and purposeful for the past years. 2014 marks another opportunity-filled year of new experiences and memories to be shared with them. As mentioned here in my short poem, there's nothing that I want to ask for myself; but for others, I do fervently pray especially for the bereaved family of my Uncle Evan. May His wife who's terminally ill with breast cancer and his brokenhearted children be comforted and healed. 

       May the good Lord grant My Birthday Wish not only for my loved ones who endure sickness and pain but for everyone across the world who feel and suffer the same. May this new year be a more blessed one for all of us!

Thank you for giving time to read my blog, may this post inspire you!

Inspirations in Life

May these quotes w/ awesome backgrounds inspire you :)

Happy reading! You can click each photo which will lead you to my FB page.

Thank you for visiting my blog!!!!

Where Dreams Take Me

             Uncle Evan stood right beside me all those years

Let me dream of things from long ago,
Let my mind tonight wander and go,
Back to the old places I have been,
To be with the one who's now unseen.

May I dream of you as the moon ascends,
Let us share laughter before the night ends,
Grant this longing heart just one brief moment,
To have vision of you alive and present.

Let me hear your serious but hilarious joke,

Amuse this sad heart that your passing once broke,

Teach me your skills and tips on how to cook,

Or anything I won't learn from any book.

Dreams reopen the portal built in between,

To possibly see all that we have been, 

To experience former things once again,

To be with someone I have been missing.

 

To where you are, dreams would assure me to take,

Though reality unfolds the morning I wake,

But imaginations could never lessen ache,

Because your memory is my heart's keepsake.  

God’s Unfading Grace

These earthly things are all fleeting, 

What are we afraid of losing?
Gone were the days and everything, 

But God’s grace remains unfading.

Failures, daily struggles and pains, 

Shattered plans and broken dreams, 

Scarred heart covered with past stains, 

Cast it all to God for He mends.

Worries and burdens we can bear, 

Dim-lighted path we will travel, 

Unafraid to walk through narrow trail, 

Even through stormy seas we will sail. 

Do not fear, the Lord is in control, 

He pacifies troubled heart and soul, 

We may lose in this world’s battle, 

But He lifts us up when we fall.

You're a Rose

(for Auntie Cleofe)

Among the parade of lovely blossoms,
In the garden, one bud gracefully blooms,
That adorns the world with elegance,
And attracts everyone to take a glance.

The earth takes pride to see how it grew,
Into a Rose our hearts were attached to,
With petals of red, white, yellow, pink or blue,
That simple yet beautiful bud was you.

You’re a Rose that takes us into captivity,
Of your irresistible traits, scent and beauty,
You bring smile and joy despite adversity,
You signify hope, peace, love and infinity.

You’re a Rose that stands with thorns that prick,
But harms no one whether tough or weak,
Amidst storms and winds you never break,
You live strong and great for others’ sake.


"Thanks for being such an inspiration Auntie!
We wish and pray for your good health
physically, emotionally and spiritually..."

Your niece, 
Tabom

Finding True Love

(Proverb 18:22)

In a crowd of millions, how will you search? 
     Someone who accepts your strengths and weaknesses,
And share sweet lifetime with you on earth, 
     For finding TRUE LOVE is one of the hardest. 

In this surprise-filled life, you will come across, 
     Someone you hold hands with in the longest journey,
That one person who loves you at your best or worse,
      Who sees 'YOU' alone even choices are many. 

Through broken roads, ruined bridges and rocky steeps, 
     You may pass clueless to where it would lead,
But what awaits for a heart that goes unsmooth trips,
      Is God's best reward, the One that you need. 

For in the Lord's holy book has been bound, 
      If you entrust everything to Him with great belief, 
The TRUE LOVE you're searching for will be found, 
      A good spouse is a favor to receive- a God's gift. 


This poem is for my husband, JAY...
      I thank GOD for leading me to you! 
      I love you!

Loneliest

The loneliest road I'll always take, 

Is the one that leads me to your grave,

I come to see and touch once again,

Only your tombstone and picture frame.

The loneliest words I tearfully read,

Are the verses of your epitaph engraved,

The well-carved inscription that sadly states

In loving memory of someone great.

I’ve known what ‘loneliest’ means when you’re gone,

The world has wept in loss of a good man,

But that happens when life’s purpose is done,

Your soul returns to our Creator’s hand. 

just missing my Uncle Evan who died 4 months ago :( 

The moon and I

The moon floats alone in the sky tonight,

Glowing with pale light, dull and less bright,

No single star has stood by its side,

Behind dark, foggy clouds they all hide.

The moon and I are very much alike,

Wishing for that one star to display light,

Waiting that it appears now in sight,

Show up to brighten the sullen night.

If Only I Could

(Dedicated to my Uncle Evan)
created : 08-4-2013 2:30 am



If only I could just smile with every thought of you,
And gladly recall the good times we have been through,
Without shedding sad tears today or tomorrow,
Unwrap this fragile heart from despair and sorrow.

If only I could control my mind from flashing back,
Those poignant scenes, I would opt to remain unlocked,
If it’s possible to reverse the hands of clock,
I'd freeze the moment before you breathed your last.

If only I could command my heart not to weep,
I’d send out words that my mind might also heed,
To plow out roots of grief that’s been buried deep,
But to the ground sadness tightens its grip.

If only I could ask for a replay of events,
Beside your deathbed I would have my presence,
To cradle you in my arms one moment more,
Wish I could have said Goodbye, I love you Uncle.

Forgiving Someone Who Did Not Say Sorry

We can find many verses in the bible that teach us the meaning and importance of forgiveness. As it is written in the book of Matthew 6:14-15, "If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins." As humans, we do commit mistakes and sins toward one another. With a lot of people we mingle daily, we may have hurt some of them through our words or actions and same way happened to us also.

I remember an old friend who betrayed my trust yet never claimed her mistakes. During our confrontation, she denied spreading gossips about me in the class though many have come to witness. We never had another chance to talk again after that incident which ruined our friendship. I had hard time forgiving her that I even hated to hear anyone mention her name. What she did to me was so unforgettable or even unforgivable. There were times I heard my other classmates repeat the negative things she relayed to them, I became the talk of the class and I was very affected. Maybe there's a few who believed to the hearsay but they're outnumbered by those who were unconvinced.

I kept asking my reflection in the mirror, does learning not to forget what she did to me means never forgiving her? Somehow soon if we bump into each other unexpectedly, the word "Sorry" would be enough for me to forgive and forget everything. But, considering that we haven't met again, I'd like to make myself believe that perhaps she wanted to say sorry but couldn't find chances to tell me. For many years, both of us do not know our whereabouts.

Not only one person did something wrong to me, they're many in my list. But I realized that as Christians, we must set an example to everybody by our words, actions and attitude. Forgiving someone maybe hard to do but with the help of God, it can be possible. The pains inflicted by other people will be healed then. If we just open our hearts, we can easily forgive the ones who hurt us whether they have apologized or not. 

Remember, FORGIVENESS sets us free from hatred and bitterness.

DEJA VU : dream or reincarnation?

Have you experienced getting familiar with a certain place you just came to? Or somewhat knowing a person you just met? Were there events and situations that seemed to have occurred in the past? These unexplainable things happened to me not just once but many times and it's a bit confusing. All the friends I consulted to regarding this matter have one statement in common - it's called DEJA VU. Different kinds of teachings and beliefs create contradicting thoughts in my head. Is it true that DEJA VU is caused by fragments  of past-life memories thus, having a link with REINCARNATION?    

In my own realization, DEJA VU can be caused by visions we had in our dreams probably. The dream-related situations can really make people think about having past life. It's just so hard to understand but everything which happens in connection to that is truly bewildering. It's really uncanny to go through situations as if they happened already in a remote time. But neither do I believe in DEJA VU nor REINCARNATION - that's my stand. 

I bet you have also experienced these mysterious things more than once, haven't you? 

In Dreams

As the shining moon appears,

The lonely princess prepares,

To meet her waiting lover, 

Before the night is over.

I'd sleep early tonight, 

To be with my sweet knight, 

To spend long tender hours, 

In the garden of flowers. 

See you then in dreamland, 

Let us walk, hold my hand, 

At least we'll be together, 

In dreams, you're visibly near.

Healing - a lifetime process

The past is where we store all our troubles, disappointments, failures, losses and pains. We live at present to start life anew as we try to forget the things and situations that hurt us terribly. We go through tough healing process that every tomorrow promises to extend whenever we are still wounded and broken. 

Life is an uphill climb, there's always struggles. We strenuously and persistently move upward regardless of how rocky and steep the path is. Along our exhausting journey, we are pained and wounded by different kinds of obstacles but we never stop ascending. As we pause sometimes to breathe and relax, we tend to cure our bruises and injuries so as to continue this life's indefinitely-long trek. 

Despite what we experienced through the way we have passed, we are still determined to go up and get closer to the top. Sometimes we may look back to realize how far we have gone and compliment ourselves for what we have accomplished. As we recall the former things and experiences we have left behind, we either smile or cry. We smile at those which caused scars that completely faded but we still cry at those which traces of wounds have not disappeared yet. For this, I realize that HEALING IS A LIFETIME PROCESS. As we continue to live, we are bound to get hurt and suffer pain again and again. Time heals all our wounds one at a time and surely each will find cure depending on its depth and damage.

(My uncle's death was the most painful memory that bothers me all the time. Whenever we bring it up in our daily conversations, I always find myself wiping tears from my eyes. In this life, that's the deepest wound I ever had. I just hope & pray God will heal me, I mean us....all of us who love and miss him so much)

LET ME WEEP

Just let me weep, allow my tears to flow,

In grief of something I can’t let go,

Let it cleanse my eyes from sorrow,

For pain to subside somehow I know.

If I mourn, let me have it all released,

Shedding tears is to feel quite at ease,

For a heart that’s occupied with sadness,

Let me give it some space to breathe.

Let me sob, let me pour the pain inside,

Down my cheeks let my lonely tears glide,

Let me show what I cannot dare to hide,

Though a hundred times I have really tried.

I smile and laugh to forget the heartache,

With happy friends around, I don’t feel weak,

But when silence comes, let me just weep,

Alone in the dark, I cry myself to sleep.

"missing you, cle evan" :(

Your Life (Evan "Bobong" Mendoza)

After more than 13 years of battling cancer, Uncle Evan faced defeat and died. He's gone but his legacy continues and his memory lives on. He will be remembered as a good person who has lived a purpose-driven life. He has touched and inspired the lives of many. God loves him and so we all do. We miss him!

This is my second poem dedicated to Uncle Evan.

Dear Uncle Evan

          
        Today, a month after you passed away, I let my mind take a stroll down memory lane as it recalls the time when I rushed to take an urgent trip from Bohol where I was supposed to pursue my schooling. I cried a bucket of tears while crossing the sea towards CDO aboard Superferry just to be present on the day of your operation. I chose to stay and spend more time with you as one of your doctors divulged that you were terminally ill with only 3 months left to live, but with God's mercy you continued to live longer than the given term.  Since the time you have miraculously survived from your first major operation due to colon cancer, we always look forward to celebrating each year that passes by. We often mark the calendar whenever your birthday approaches and when that specific date comes, we never forget to gather together and feast on some foods as we all thank the Lord for giving you another year, another chance to live and serve Him best. This has become our family's habit for 13 years.

        All those years, seeing you strong, healthy and safe is our joy; laughing at your serious but hilarious jokes and tasting your savory recipes are what we enjoyed most and NOW WE TERRIBLY MISSED.

        Early this year, we're haunted by the same fear that threatened us years ago, but it's more alarming & dreadful the second time around. You have laid on your hospital bed because of colon cancer complications. Successive operations made you weaker, thinner and pale. Our joy turned into sorrow but our faith remained unmoved as well as our hope. So as to sustain your costly prolonged medication, we begged for financial support from anyone who would be willing to help as we're already buried in debt - a lot of people, institutions and organizations have generously lent what they can afford to give and we are forever grateful to all our relatives, friends, bros & sis in the Lord and even strangers for their fervent prayers and generosity. We have always believed that God will answer our prayers of keeping you well again. BUT AFTER 3 MONTHS ON YOUR SICKBED, YOU FINALLY SUCCUMBED TO CANCER AND IT REALLY HURT  AND LEFT US ALL HEARTBROKEN. 

        God answered our prayers though not in a way we ever wished for, but through our faith and trust, we humbly submit to His will as we tearfully embrace the purpose and reason behind it. God did not take away your sickness for He knows what's best for you. For all the years that you've been battling cancer, He knows how tired you have become. So, he ended your suffering and freed you completely from excruciating pain and bitter sorrow. The 14-year extension to your life was clear enough to see how God loves you, He has given you the rarest chance to repent, live in godliness and store up heavenly treasures. We thank the Lord for His wonderful plans for your life - you were made ready to receive salvation before the time of your death. 

       "THANK YOU UNCLE!" You have loved, inspired, encouraged and taught us how important it is to live and serve God while there's still TIME. We are all grief-stricken upon your untimely death but we are truly glad that you're now at rest, peacefully waiting to receive your glorious reward. YOU WILL FOREVER STAY IN OUR HEARTS AS YOUR MEMORY LIVES ON! Thank you for the unforgettable precious memories! WE MISS & LOVE YOU SO MUCH...

                                                                 Missing You, 

Live today as if it is your last

LIFE is SHORT, we do not know how long shall we live and enjoy things in this world. It is best to live each day with righteousness because any day can be our last chance to serve the Lord and do good to other people. This idea crept into my mind when my grandma informed me that a relative passed away due to an accident.

I hardly slept that night after hearing the news, pictures of some people I know who faced untimely death kept flashing on my memory. Were they prepared to meet God? Do they deserve salvation? It is a fact that we will all die but no one can foretell when or how. 

Anytime or anyhow, are you ready?

broken homes, broken hearts

Marriage is a foundation in building a new home where love, trust and care must dwell. Out of love, children are added to complete a family. Married couples always start a new life together happily and hope to make it last. Problems and trials come to test their strength and faith, some survived to fight against all odds but others failed to save the previous thing they let loose. The kids fall as victims to their parents' wrong decision. 

Sharing thoughts from my very own experience, dealing with life's challenges is harder for a child who went through such kind of pain. As couples break apart, it's not just the home that goes broken, their children's hearts are crushed too.